Breathing Fire
by Imaginezze
Summary: A story of Renesmee growing up and making choices - R/OC - please review xxx
1. My Jacob

**Just to let you know this is not a Jacob/Renesmee fiction**

**As much as I'd like to, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. These are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer.**

**POV: Renesmee**

**Please review! xxxxx**

_My Jacob_

Jacob swung me up onto his huge shoulders, grinning.

"Jake I'm too big for you to carry me like this any more!" I squealed, though I wrapped my arms around the top of his head.

"Nessie don't be daft," he scoffed. "You're as light as a feather to me." He stood on his tiptoes, my head dangerously close to the ceiling.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously. He was humming under his breath. Overly cheerful.

Jacob took one of my hands and squeezed it in his. His hand was much, much bigger than mine. "For a walk."

I slipped off his shoulders and onto his back so I could get a better grip. There was so much of him I could barely get my arms round.

"It's sunny outside," I protested. I knew the limits. To be sure he understood, I gave him an image of me shining in the sunlight. I no longer had to use physical contact to get my images across but I often did out of habit.

"Don't worry, your parents know about this."

"Do they?" I asked cautiously. It was rare my mom let me go out with Jacob alone. She was always watching us when we were alone. I had a physical age, as she put it, of nearly sixteen and I was slowing to a stop. She said my emotions were bound to mature as well, although I never really understood what she meant.

"Well, your dad does," he grinned, winking.

"Jake!" I groaned. His eyes sparkled at me.

"Come on, Ness," he chuckled. It was a new nickname that I had chosen myself; nobody willingly wanted to be nicknamed Nessie. I smiled.

"Okay," I mumbled in his ear. I closed my eyes. "Surprise me."

I heard him shake slightly with laughter and then he was running off. After we left the house I couldn't resist tilting my head back and tasting the air. It was tainted with Jacob's musky smell, but behind that I could taste seawater. I sniffed.

"That's cheating!" he accused, still running. I pinched my nose.

"Sorry," I said, in a weird voice. He laughed again.

It felt odd without a sense of smell. I kept my eyes shut, but I could hear clearly now the rushing of waves. As he slowed to a stop, he swung me round so I was in front of him. He peeled my hand away from my face.

Slowly I opened my eyes. Jacob kept his cheery mood up, but I could see his eyebrows pulling together slightly.

"What's up?" I asked. He let me go, lowering me to the ground. I was quite a bit shorter than his 6'7". Sometimes he seemed taller than that. I lifted my face so I could see him clearer.

"Jake are you okay?"

"I'm… thinking," he sighed.

His eyes continued to stare into mine and I felt myself blushing, a trait I had to thank my mother for. He smiled and brushed his hands through my hair.

"I suppose you know I'm… we're… inseparable," he began, biting his lip. I kept my hands at my sides.

"I was just wondering if you felt," he smiled to himself, "more?"

My eyebrows raised. "What do you mean?"

He played with one of my bronze curls. "Have you ever imagined yourself with anyone?"

"Oh." I rolled my eyes. "That."

Jacob placed his hands on my shoulders. "Sorry, I'm not making myself very clear, am I?" he chuckled, mainly to himself. I waited.

His face turned serious and he cupped my chin in his right hand softly. "I love you, Renesmee," he said clearly. "And I always will."

"Oh no," I moaned. "Jake?"

His eyes blinked quickly and I could sense the rejection sinking into him. His eyes turned angry.

"Not again," he growled. He was silent for a bit. "I've waited six years and I want to know now." I saw the trembles before he did. He fought to control himself.

"Please, Ness," he moaned. "I can't hurt you, but I can hurt myself."

I'd heard this line, slightly differently of course, in one of my mom's stories about Jacob when she was human. I remembered the reason for it and shuddered.

"Don't lie," I whispered. "It scares me."

"Nessie I've seen the applications," he growled. "Why didn't you tell me you're going to school?"

"Mom didn't want you to… interfere," I mumbled. His hands gripped my arms tightly. His grip would have splintered any normal human bone. I winced.

"I don't want you taken away from me," he said, and I could see the pain in his eyes. "If some kid from high school wins your heart, I would kill myself. It's not the same this time, you're my soul mate." I winced again, this time at his stupid choice of words.

"Jacob please, leave me alone," I said angrily. I was starting to get a little freaked out.

"I can't hurt you," he repeated.

"But you might," I hissed, under my breath so he couldn't hear.

His eyes turned to me, wild and desperate.

Then I felt him sweeping me backwards. He pushed me onto a piece of driftwood and without giving me a chance to catch my breath crushed his lips against mine angrily. I kept myself still. His hands pulled me against him and I frowned at the desperate way he was kissing me. I pushed him away to breathe but he pulled me back, strengthened with the moment.

"Kiss me back," he growled.

I stiffened, squeezing my eyes shut and let the first tear choke out.

He slowed down his movements, his thoughts caught up with his actions.

I felt him pull away.

"Sorry," he whispered.

I fought back the tears as I streaked across the beach, back to the house. He didn't come after me.


	2. Vanessa Masen

**;)**

_Vanessa Masen_

I stomped into the cottage, knowing it was where my parents would be. My mom was sitting at the table, smiling to herself. I scowled. Dad had probably already heard my fuming thoughts.

She bit her lip as I hissed angrily.

"He attacked me!" I burst, stung by her reaction. She seemed to be trying to hold back laughter. "He knew I didn't like him that way but he just kissed me!" I couldn't think of a good insult for him. "Stupid idiot!" I snapped. I stuck my lip out like a baby.

My dad came in and smiled at my mom conspiratorially.

"And you can keep your nose out my thoughts," I growled. I remembered Jacob's wild eyes and flinched. Dad frowned slightly. "I wish I'd punched him like you did, mom," I grumbled, remembering the story. She chuckled slightly but was silent.

I looked meaningfully at mom, who sighed. I felt the blanket of her shield settle over my mind and dad glared at her.

"I'm hungry," I said to myself. I didn't feel like hunting, so I made my way to the tiny kitchen.

"Nessie?" I heard my dad's voice float through the door.

"Go away," I mumbled. I knew he could hear me.

"We were just going to discuss about you enrolling at Forks High, Nessie," mom said quietly. "Are you sure you want to go?"

I searched the cupboards twice, unsuccessfully, before I replied. "Yes."

"Do you want to change your name at all?" they asked at the same time. Rehearsed.

I considered this. "Nothing too drastic," I decided. "But it might be a bit weird for the teachers if yet another Cullen turns up." I grinned, mainly for their benefit, when I thought of my loving - if slightly odd - family.

"Can you remember the passport I made you?" mom asked. I walked back into the room, standing far enough away that I could make a run for it if I wanted.

"Yes," I said through my teeth. "And no."

"Not even Vanessa?"

I grinned. "Vamp-essa."

Neither of them laughed. "The term starts in a couple of days. We need to get these forms sent by today," mom insisted.

"Ugh," I groaned. "Vanessa…"

I watched as dad took the paper and scribbled something down.

"No!" I scrambled quickly, carefully, though I knew my movements weren't clumsy, over to him and ripped the paper out of his hands.

"Vanessa Masen…?" I remembered vaguely my dad's human surname being Masen. "Huh, good idea."

His expression was almost smug.

"How old shall we say you are, darling?" mom asked, taking the papers back.

"Sixteen," I said firmly. "My birthday was yesterday."

Mom chuckled. "That makes you a junior. You'd be the new kid."

"Déjà vu?" I suggested softly. She laughed lightly.

"You'll get a lot of attention," she said. It was a fact. "I might get jealous."

I frowned. "Just don't walk me to school or it'll be _Stacy's Mom_ in real life." I hummed a bar or two. "And actually, neither of you take me to school, please. I look nearly the same age as you guys."

"Hm." Dad pretended to have a problem with it. "What are you doing about sunny days though?"

"What do you mean?" I was caught by the abrupt change of subject.

"Well, you kind of shine," he laughed.

"Only a bit," I insisted. "And it's never sunny anyway."

Mom said something very low, too quiet even for me to hear. She was good at that.

"Okay sweetie, we'll take it from here," she said, overly sweet. I grimaced.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying not to sound suspicious.

"Filling out the rest of it."

"Can I read?"

They exchanged glances. "Um, sure." Dad passed me the paper and I noticed they had to fill in the names of my parents, my address and lots of petty details about my ethnic background. I sighed unhappily.

"What are you putting?"

"Edward and Bella," dad said. "Seems reasonable."

"Oh dad no please…" I was annoyed. "At least change mom's name, it would be embarrassing if the teacher's recognised your names…"

"Cathy," mom said, smiling at what seemed to be their little private joke.

Dad smirked and stole back the paper. "Okay darling, we'll be fine now. If you're hungry you should hunt."

I rolled my eyes. "I was only saying that to get away from you."

He shrugged. "Alice says she hasn't seen you in a while."

"Oh right!" I jumped up. "Great idea! Bye!"

I ran out until I felt sure he wasn't listening to my thoughts. Then I turned down the trail and went to my secret place in the forest, sighing heavily.

The stream trickled by me gently. I leaned towards it, taking deep breaths. It smelled lovely. There was a lavender bush I had found further upstream that I'd grown. It dropped lavender into the water, scenting it. I watched the water flow for a while. I lay on my front in the grass, closing my eyes and wishing I could sleep.

I secretly couldn't wait to go to Forks High. One reason was that I knew it'd be easy so I didn't have to panic about the workload, the second was that I was missing out on an ordinary life.

The third, a new addition, was that Jacob wouldn't be there.


	3. First Day

_First Day_

"Have you got your bag ready?" mom asked as she dropped me off outside school. The windows were tinted, partly so no one recognised and partly because she was apparently having a bad hair day.

"Of course I have, mom," I sighed.

She pulled the ends of my curls lightly. "You have beautiful hair, Nessie," she offered. I blushed. "And I'm so glad Alice dressed you. I'm not much help myself." She screwed her face jokingly.

I fidgeted in my seat.

"Oh okay," mom laughed. "Bye darling."

I slipped out the door and walked through the empty car lot. There was early frost on the trees, not that it mattered much. The cold didn't affect me; I was warm whatever the weather.

"Vanessa Masen, pleasure to meet you," came a voice from seemingly nowhere. I turned around to see my dad standing a few feet away.

"I thought you were hunting," I said, scrutinising his black eyes.

"I had to see my daughter's first day at school," he said, beaming. I hugged him.

We both saw a truck coming into the lot and he grimaced.

"Have fun," he said, smiling. I waved as he walked off casually in the opposite direction.

I made my way to the reception, where a plump middle-aged woman sat typing at her old computer which she was hitting every now and then to get it going.

"Excuse me," I said sweetly, my voice trickling with honey. I'd practised this voice a lot as a child. "I'm new here, my name's Vanessa Masen?"

The woman looked at me twice. "Well aren't you a cute little doll," she marvelled. "Yes I've got your map here and your timetable's on the back."

"Thank you, miss," I said politely, taking the sheets. "Is there anyone who could show me where to go?"

She smiled widely, showing crooked teeth - yellow with age. "I 'spect a smart gal like you ought to be able to work out where you're headed. That's building one there," she pointed me in the right direction. She stabbed at the map with a stubby finger. "This is the front of the school, get it?" I nodded.

"Now you know where you're headed," she said, pleased with her apparent helpfulness. I smiled back but rolled my eyes as I turned away. Some human adults annoy me. They treat you like a child.

Reading through my map entertained me for a while and after my third read-through I had it memorised. I walked through the now crowded car lot to my first lesson, Trig. I groaned aloud, this was the only subject I didn't enjoy.

I made my way around the crowds of staring students slowly. I felt everyone's eyes on the back of my head and I tried to convince myself that they were staring because I was the new kid. Not because of my skin colour, which was pale no matter how much I blushed. I distinctly heard the word, "Albino."

I have brown eyes! I wanted to yell at them.

I slipped in behind a couple as we lined up for Trig. They were both a little taller than me and I could hide easily. I closed my eyes until the line started moving.

"Who's the new girl?" someone asked.

"Don't know, but…"

I strained my ears, and then realised they had spotted me. The line filed in.

I stood hovering at the front of the class, not knowing where to sit.

"Excuse me miss, could you please take your-"

The teacher took a double-take when he saw me. "Oh, I don't think I've met you before."

"I'm Vanessa Masen," I said in my honey voice. "But it's Nessa." Let's give that nickname a try. "I'm new here."

I looked across the room at my classmates and waved shyly.

None of them waved back. I bit my lip, regretting it instantly as I felt my teeth break the skin ever so slightly.

"I'm Mr McLeroy," he said in the silence. "Please take a seat."

I wove my way through the desks to a lone desk at the back. There was chewing gum on the seat and lots of scratched messages in the desk. I winced.

"No, not there," Mr McLeroy chuckled, his lips twitching in a nervous way. Push-over, I imagined. "That's The Seat." He drew quotation marks with his fingers, rolling his eyes. "How about sitting with the rest of us…" He searched for an empty seat and I managed to take a good look at my classmates for the first time. I saw an arrogant looking brunette, a frizzy-haired girl with braces, and a basketball jock who sat next to a too-tall, muscular guy, who I assumed was the heart-throb because the prettiest girls surrounded him. He wasn't all that great.

"Ah, Leo," he gestured to a dark-haired boy by the window who had his feet up on the seat next to him. He looked like another heart-throb. "Shove up."

Leo sighed and looked at his audience, grinning. Then he lifted his heavy Doc Martens off, leaving mud on the seat. I scowled as he smiled innocently at me.

As I walked across the class, a girl wearing a baseball cap passed me a tissue. I used it to wipe the mud off, but I used vampire-quick movements so it wasn't too obvious. Then I dropped the tissue into his lap and stuck my tongue out, retracting it instantly. What was I doing?

He dropped it on my desk. I gave it back. Then, when Mr McLeroy was looking, he lobbed it across the room, yelled, "Watch out!" and shoved his head under the desk.

The class laughed with him. I didn't; he was starting to irritate me.

"Leo, please," Mr McLeroy said in a tired voice that suggested he had seen this so many times before.

The girls behind us mimicked him. "Leo, please."

Leo turned around, grinning. "Please, what?"

The red-head thought for a second. "Dump Ellen," she giggled. Leo kissed his fingers.

"Hell, we broke up over summer," he said smoothly.

"Really?" they said together. They giggled, then turned around to pass the message on.

Leo turned to me. "Didn't catch your name," he said apologetically. He cocked one eyebrow. "But are you like an actress or something?"

"No," I said quickly. "My name's Nessa."

He held out his hand. "Leo Neway. Currently single," he added, winking. I shook his hand, using delicate strength. His hands were quite big and colder than most humans. I was surprised he didn't pull away from the intense heat of my own hand.

"Do you learn anything from him?" I asked as Mr McLeroy escaped the room.

"Nah," Leo grinned. "But the tests are dead easy."

I noticed he had a hint of a British accent. He had similar features to everyone else in this small town, perhaps a British parent.

"Where did you used to go to school?" he asked me, breaking my thoughts. His thoughts too seemed elsewhere.

"I was home-schooled, I convinced my parents over the summer that I should come here," I said, truthfully. I learned a lot over sleepless nights.

"Danny was home-schooled for about a week," Leo said, grinning. "Then his mom got so fed up of him not wanting to learn that she shipped him off to some boarding school. He came to Forks in middle school." He was still grinning. "The boarding school chucked him out."

I laughed. "Who's Danny?"

Leo looked across the room. "Danny!"

The other "heart-throb" looked up. He grinned widely. "New girl - nice."

I smiled awkwardly, not quite sure what he was getting at. Basketball jock cuffed Danny round the head and they started hitting each other. I stared in alarm.

"What the-?"

"They do that all the time," Leo shrugged. I heard the bell going.

Leo leapt out of his seat. He grinned at me.

"What you got next?" he asked.

I pretended to think. "English."

"See you at lunch, then," he said, and then he loped over to Danny and the basketball jock and started murmuring in a low voice, watching me carefully.

I couldn't catch it because I was swept away by the tide of leaving students. But Danny looked at me in a very curious way as I left.


	4. Friends

_Friends_

I managed to survive until lunchtime. Prue, the blonde-haired girl who had sat behind me in Trigonometry, and Cassie, the red-head, seemed to have firmly attached themselves to me, making it their responsibility that I didn't get mobbed. It worked fairly well, instead of nerdy boys hanging onto my words I had a couple of their friends casually trying to walk along with me.

As we sat down at a table, I noticed that Danny, Leo and basketball jock were already there, having a rather animated discussion on baseball. They stopped in their conversation as I sat down opposite them, flanked by Prue and Cassie.

"Hey Nessa," Leo said, breaking the silence. "How was English?"

I pulled a face. "Dull."

Danny and basketball jock sighed in empathy. "Well we had gym," basketball jock said eagerly. Leo and Danny flicked his head.

"Ugh, gym," I groaned. Cassie nodded as if to say she could see that already. Well, I was _physically_ able to do most things in gym. I had a bit of a mental block though.

Prue laughed. "Well you're good at English. I'm lucky I sit next to you. I'm terrible." Cassie giggled, patting Prue's arm.

"Oh yes," she agreed. "I had her all last year, nightmare child." She tutted affectionately. I drank slowly from my soda, admiring the way everyone seemed to be so cheerful even in the silence. Then I saw thunder cross Danny's face.

I heard a crunching as he squeezed his milk carton. The milk trickled down his arm, not that he noticed. I was wondering whether I should question his sanity. "Bloody Cheswins," he muttered. Prue followed his gaze, also glaring.

"Who does she think she is?" she growled.

"Look at him, prancing around," Danny said through gritted teeth. "Prat."

I tried to see what they were looking at. "Er, what?" Their eyes flickered momentarily towards mine before glaring back at the Cheswins.

"Nicole and Matthew Cheswin," Cassie told me. "Rich kids, joined last year. Nobody likes them, except for a couple of the wannabes." I studied them.

Nicole was an exceptionally stunning brunette with golden skin and just a little too much make up. Matthew was almost her opposite, pale, greasy-haired with small watery green eyes. I took an instant dislike to him from the way he swaggered. And the way he tapped someone on the back as he walked past, just to get them to notice him.

"They seem… odd," I admitted. Nicole seemed to be the envy of most of the girls in the year. "But she's very pretty." I heard an angry noise coming from Prue.

"Got nothing on you," Prue hissed. "She looks like fat, ugly frogspawn next to you."

"Don't we all," Cassie sighed.

Grimacing, I wondered what they'd say if they met Rosalie.

"Luke went out with Nicole in her first term," Leo added, keeping the conversation going. I blinked.

"He _did?_" I gasped, trying not to let them know that I wasn't sure who Luke was. Basketball jock looked sheepish. I switched my gaze. "You _did?_"

Luke grinned. "Well, she was pretty cute…" He ducked his head. Danny stopped glaring at Matthew Cheswick to chuckle at him. When Luke emerged his cheeks were bright red. "She was quite nice too, at first."

"How would you know?" Leo asked, a glint in his eye. "You never really spoke to her. It was much more… physical." Danny and Leo sniggered as Luke's cheeks burned. "She was a good kisser, was she?"

"As if you don't know!" Luke said hotly. Leo rolled his eyes.

"He's still angry because she dumped Luke to go after him," Danny explained. Leo groaned.

"She attacked first and asked questions later!" he said indignantly. "I didn't kiss her back, I swear!"

It was Luke's turn to chuckle. "She is pretty good-looking, Leo. And, after all, you're only human." Everyone laughed at Leo's reddening cheeks. Danny pinched his cheeks affectionately.

"Aw. Poor Lee-Lee."

"Shut it," he grumbled. Prue looked sideways at me, conveying something with her eyes that I couldn't decipher.

"Hey Nessa," she said loudly, an invitation for the rest of the group to listen. "How's about you meet up with us on Saturday? We'll mainly go around Forks, but later we have our first term party." I tried to remember the weather forecast. I would have to ask Alice.

"Sure," I said, beaming. "Let me ask my mom first though. So protective." That seemed a normal enough reason. Everyone nodded in empathy.

"My mom wouldn't let me buy my first pair of heels until I was _fifteen_," Cassie said angrily. "I need high heels! I am so short!"

"I wouldn't say short, Cassie," Prue said kindly. "Fun size."

"I only made it over five foot two last year," Cassie groaned. "And now I've, like, stopped growing."

Luke grinned. "At least you won't be a basketball player."

Cassie laughed a lot louder than she should have and smiled at him. Even I could spot the early days of romance, but it looked like they weren't together, yet.

"Hey I'll text you the times after school, alright?" Cassie said. I hadn't realised we were getting up, lunch must have finished. "I need your number though."

"Yeah." I scribbled my number onto her hand. "I can't wait." I grinned, feeling normal.

Suddenly I remembered that I wasn't normal. I was a hybrid, a weirdo, even by vampire terms. It hit me quite hard. I stood up quickly, silently, and found my way out. Then I stopped, took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself down.

Leo appeared behind me.

"Are you alright?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes I'm fine."

"Where are you going now?"

"Oh… Spanish."

"Hasta mañana," he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes again, smiling slightly.

"Adios." Even in the mood I was in, I couldn't help beaming back at him, like he was literally radiating happiness. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets and quickly walked off in the other direction.


End file.
